Imagine this: Your family is all in the living room, waiting for dinner while watching news on the TV. A coverage on alleged drug suspects killed by the police is shown, discussing the Duterte administration’s brutal war on drugs. Members of your family loudly share the same sentiments on killing alleged drug addicts and pushers, praising Duterte and the PNP’s streak of extrajudicial killings.
As you sighed deeply and sat down, an inner voice asks you a question:
At this very moment, what do you have to say?
For most of us, it is undeniable that Politics is one of the hardest subjects to talk about inside our homes. Politics is the art of power, and power in Filipino families manifests through the authority of older members in the house, often sidelining our opinions as younger people and shutting down what we have to say.
From “Bata ka pa kasi, wala ka pa masyadong alam!” to “Ah, ayan, nag-UP ka lang ang yabang yabang mo na!”, our views are dismissed just because we are young, and older people think they are always right.
In the middle of a global pandemic where we are forced to be in endless lockdowns with no direction, we are further challenged to assert our right to use our voice, moreso in enabling political discussions in our households. Faced with countless crises in education, human rights, press freedom, and health, the Filipino youth bears the responsibility of maximizing their influence, starting with their immediate loved ones. We need to talk about the things that matter, with the people who matter the most.
Here is a gentle guide for the young Filipino in talking Politics at Home:
1. Be calm. Listen with the intent to understand.
No matter what your family has to say, remember that difficult conversations should be handled with patience and care. You may hear some discriminating and fiery words, or irrational beliefs. But you can only start understanding another person when you are in the right, peaceful disposition to hear their genuine thoughts and process them within yourself. Ask yourself: How big are the gaps between their ideas and mine? How can I bridge it?
Try to imagine that this is the normal view of thousands or millions of other Filipinos who share the same opinions on issues. It takes a few deep breaths, followed by the courage to start and steer the conversation. American Psychologist Vaile Wright encourages us to ask ourselves what we want to achieve in these conversations. Is it to change someone’s views, or hear their own prospects? (Swanson, 2017).
Addressing the divisiveness in political perspectives becomes more possible with a sound mind. Wright emphasizes the value of validating the other person’s ability and willingness to share their feelings and thoughts. When genuine intentions to understand are felt by the other, people are more likely to share more things they know or believe in.
However, it’s important to recognize that you as an individual have your limitations, especially when you are met with personal attacks against your well-being and identity.
2. Maximize the importance of legitimate sources and news.
When you find yourself in situations of disagreement, it is most likely based on the kind of media sources that you and the other party are familiar with consuming. From fake news propaganda machines like Mocha Uson to critical and alternative media sources, the information we are bombarded with shapes the beliefs and opinions that we carry everywhere. Gently refute misinformation thrown at you by offering real-time fact checks: “But Ma, that is not true, because Politician X did not pass that law during his time, in fact, it was written by Senator Y, signed by President C.”
Objectivity also remains a myth, and mainstream media have their own biases too. Being restricted by only a few media sources that have the same way of framing issues and personalities, citizens are inclined to strengthen their current stances on many things, and be farther from the real variation of views needed to have a layered grasp on issues.
Social media is a game changer, for better or worse, jailing you in an echo chamber of information and the same set of people who share the same opinions with you through its algorithm. If you can have access to the phones or accounts of your parents, you can do it the hard way by secretly following progressive and critical pages, while unfollowing, blocking sources of fake news that fuel hate and misinformation.
Be bold. Let your shared political posts and information campaigns reach your disagreeing family members on social media. If we choose to let our posts be set through the “Friends except...:” settings, we are not maximizing the chances of these facts and alternative views to our friends and family who need them.
3. Be assertive and consistent with your stances.
Remember that you may be representing the views of millions of Filipinos who share the same progressive thinking as you do. It is a tough battle to share what you know, refute illogical ideas, and argue with people you love over difficult political conversations.
Establish yourself as a dedicated person who is knowledgeable and passionate enough about issues. When we are seen as unsure of our own opinions and facts we know, it may be misconstrued that all people with the same views we share are also unsure of their own thoughts. Stand firm with the facts and line of persuasion that you are forwarding. Repeat key points to let them remember the opposing side of their view.
4. Be creative and personal.
Stay away from big words and unfamiliar concepts. Stick with the rhetoric of connecting issues to personal stories, and to more relatable situations.
Ask your parents, what would you feel if I was arrested without a warrant? What could have happened to us during lockdowns if we were a poor family like most Filipinos?
Use analogies to compare the logic behind issues to simpler examples. Maximize the art of storytelling and emotional appeals in getting your message across. Try to identify issues and topics you both agree on and feel passionate about then slowly digress to analogous concepts. Understand their thought process and analyze where they are coming from.
5. Accept differences, and recognize indifference. Be respectful.
Politics is not politics if there are no opposing sides. Sometimes, it is hard to persuade or even converse with people who have already made up their minds, and that is okay. What is important is that you tried your best in sharing your own ideas, and normalizing open political conversations with your family members. Remember that no one becomes superior for having progressive ways of thinking, and no one is completely unable to be persuaded with new things.
And sometimes, people are just indifferent or discriminatory to others. Accept the fact that you can only do so much in steering difficult conversations with your family. It is important to note that you are still living under the same roof, so the impact of your words and persuasion reverberate in your family relations, and these dynamics are dependent on the ways you balance assertive conversations on important issues with healthy communication and respect. When your efforts and strategies to discuss politics do not work at first, remember that there are next times to try again.
Vaile Wright reminds us that we are not losing anything in the long run by going beyond the surface of peace in relationships through conversations. Having meaningful relationships means that you are taking the time to understand each other’s point of view, no matter how difficult it is (Swanson, 2017). It is normal to be disappointed, but zoom out and try to see that our opinions are shaped by a lot of systemic factors that control the flow of information and rhetoric in different levels of society. People’s political beliefs are often based on their personal realities, from your family members, Facebook friends, to strangers in social media using their own voice on political issues. Be patient, you belong to different generations with a different set of influences and experiences. Politely show them circumstances that may be invisible to them due to lack of awareness or because they were blinded by privilege.
Fuel your courage with the desire to be part of the change you want to see. Influencing people and communities as well as creating impacts may begin with tireless persuasion with your family.
Recognizing your own power to transform your ideas into rolling conversations in your home may be a daunting step. If we don’t try to start political discussions with our family, how can we face the bigger challenges, or achieve the better change out there?
Politics is a shared experience, and we have every right to talk, criticize, and offer new perspectives on the most pressing issues that affect all of us in society.
Talking about politics may be tough, scary, and uncertain, but your words and the courage to share them sparks a whole new path of conversations that need to happen. Driven by your goals to understand and persuade them, starting open political discussions is also a wide opportunity for your personal growth and sincere connections with your loved ones.
So ask yourself, are you ready to forward progressive change, starting at home?
References:
Swanson, K. (2017, August 22). Experts agree: Don’t avoid political conversations with family members. Vox. Retrieved from https://www.vox.com/first-person/2017/8/22/16171270/partisanship-politics-discussion-family
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